Imagine having a long day and work and just wanting to come home and relax with your girlfriend. Now imagine that when you get home, you don't see her or hear her making any sounds....you call out her name, but no reply. So you sit on the couch and turn on the TV, figuring she's doing something important and that she'll be out when she's done.

You're calmly watching an episode of your favorite program, when something starts munching on your hair.

You turn around to see what the fuck it could be and you get slapped in the face and hissed at, while the culprit runs to hide.

A pursuit ensues, and when you get to your room you find the bed sheets clawed up, and shit-log in the corner, and your girlfriend under the bed hissing at you.

That's what it's like owning a cat.

Fuck cats. But not literally, because it's apparently it's 'cruelty' to give them the happy no-pants dance.

In the spirit of how shitty cats are, me and an ex-girlfriend played a fun game over AIM, inspired by the following picture.

This game was called "Cats:___________", where you insert a phrase about cats in the blank that you thought was relevant, given the nature of the above animation.

I took the anti-cat side, she was (for some reason) on the pro-cat side. The following is a transcript of that game.

Me: cats: not very smart

Moof: cats: wicked awesome

Me: cats: unable to fly, contrary to what they may think

Moof: cats: not pansies scared by the possibility of what if

Me: cats: not mobile with all four legs broken....need to be put down

Moof: cats: able to hold their own

Me: cats: able to climb to the top of a telephone pole without a backup plan

Moof: cats: able to get themselves down

Me: cats: having gravity pull you on your face isnt a viable 'getting myself down' option

Moof: cats: have survived for centuries on such skill

Me: cats: is suicide a skill?

Moof: cats: have nine lives

Me: cats: need nine lives whereas creatures with intelligence manage with one

Moof: cats: badasses

Me: cats: natures retarded cousin that eats shiny things and isnt allowed near children

Moof: cats: cute and cuddly

Me: cats: shit in your laundry, get a woman if you want to cuddle

Moof: cats:so funny (and well i wouldn't want a woman to cuddle with)

Me: cats: so funny (to watch go around and around in the dryer)

Moof: cats: curl up nicely in one's lap

Me: cats: fold up nicely for easy storage

Moof: cats: yay

Me: cats: 100% daily value of bullshit

Moof: puhlease

Maybe I'm biased, but I think the results of round one were quite conclusive.

Love Cats: 0

Feed them to monkeys: 1