What's it this time? People.

Almost everyone, but I'll focus on these people today:

Now, I'm not saying that ALL Americans are like this...nay....but only the ones that I ever see are.

Let me run through a couple scenarios from tonight that got my anger gland pumping juicy rage.

Location: Fast food restaurant
Idiot in Question: Man too old to live, let alone be let outside unattended
Action Attempted: Ordering food

Let me give you the gift of the conversation that took place in front of me as I was standing in line for 15 minutes, yes, 15 minutes at a fast food restaurant:

Register Jockey: Hello sir, what can I get you tonight?
Father Time: Can I get the hamburger you have up there?
Register Jockey: Which one sir, we have a number of them.
Father Time: Can I get the (insert crap here)?
Register Jockey: Sure. You want everything on that?
Father Time: What comes on it? Could I get pickles?
Register Jockey: Yes sir. It comes with those. Is that all you want?
Father Time: Yes, that sounds good.
Register Jockey: What size did you want that in?
Father Time: What are the sizes?
Register Jockey: Small, medium, and large.
Father Time: What's a small, a medium, and a large? How big are those
Register Jockey:  *Holds up cups*
Father Time: I'll take the medium.
Register Jockey: Would you like that for here or to go?
Father Time: Where's here? Where do I put it?
Register Jockey: No. I mean, do you want to eat it here at the restaurant or take it with you?
Father Time: Oh. I'll have it here.
Register Jockey: That'll be $$$.
Father Time: *Hands over card*
Register Jockey: Thank you sir, we'll call your number when it's ready.
Father Time: What's my number? Like my phone number?
Register Jockey: No, the number right here on your receipt.
Father Time: Ok.

If I hadn't of heard it and seen it with my own organs, I wouldn't have believed that a man that stupid was capable of even getting himself to a public line to irritate the shit out of others.

Was this is first trip to a fine fast food dining establishment? Who the fuck doesn't know the sizes of shit?

"Small, medium and whhaaaaaa? No way! Since when?!"

Since forever! Ever since Jesus roamed the temperate climates, the sizes have always been small, medium, and large. And they will continue to be that way till long after everyone you know is dead.

I bet hamburgers would be even cheaper if we made them out of old, senile, wrinkle-fucks.

 

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Location: Wal-Mart
Idiot in Question: Rotund, white-trash woman
Action Attempted: Paying for her items

Let me start of this scenario by preemptively saying, I do not like Wal-Mart. Why was I there then? Because my family members keep giving me Wal-Mart gift cards for any and all occasions, as a way of saying "I don't know a damn thing about you, so buy your own damn present".

The tub-o-goo was holding what appeared to be $60 in twenties in her hand while the cashier was ringing up her items.

The total come to $70 some dollars, and then the words we all fear at the check out line were uttered...."I'm going to have to put some of this back."

If I wasn't already committed to the line, I would have bailed. But seeing some of the items the woman was purchasing, I wanted to see how her thought process was going to work this financial conundrum out.

Shamuu Muu: I'll put the laundry detergent back.
Register Jockey: That'll be $70
Shamuu Muu: I'll put the trashcan back.
Register Jockey: $65
Shamuu Muu: I don't need the picture frame.
Register Jockey: $58 

So she paid with what was left of what used to be her lipo fund.

What was left in the bags you may ask that makes this all worth-while? A gallon bag of Cheetos.

I'm sure there was other shit in there too, but that's all I saw sticking out of her bags.

If you think about it, her brain did this little number:

Washing my clothes → No.
Putting all my waste in a proper receptacle → No thank you.
Hanging memories on the wall → Not really worth it.
Loosing my feedbag that maintains my girlish hippo figure → I wouldn't dare dream of it.

Oh the shit you only see at Wal-Mart.

 

Getting back to that picture at the top of this article....if I ever see someone wearing a shirt made out of an American flag it makes me want to piss in their hair. Ignoring the obvious irony of them loving the American flag so much that they degrade it by making it hitch a ride on their blubber for 24 hours, the main problem I have with it is that it makes them pretentious, horn-tooting fucks. I've never seen any other country make shirts out of their flags. And why should they, if I see you in say, Denmark, I assume you're from Denmark. I don't need you to wear the flag. Any country that allows it citizens to wear that pompous-shit should be ashamed of itself.