Which of These Items is Not Like the Rest?

Correct Answer:

None of them.

They're all the same.

They don't fucking go together.

Even if you have a girlfriend, under no circumstances should a man ever have beaver damming products in his home. Having tampons in your place when you're a man is like saying "Here, take my balls. I don't really use them anymore. You feel free to put as many cooter plugs as you see fit all over WHERE I LIVE. I was just thinking the other day that my HOME doesn't have enough feminine hygiene products in it."

Unless you two actually live together, I would assume she has her own personal space at her place of residence that she can vagina up all she wants.

Now, I'll preface this next statement by saying I myself don't own a vagina. And of the vaginas I've observed, I've NEVER had the yearn to learn about the slaughterhouse tendencies of them. I know a few days a month its like a butcher's shop down there, but that's about the extent of what I want to know.

However, I can probably say with relative accuracy that periods don't just sneak up on you women. You never hear "Aw fuck, it's Tuesday. I need to take the trash out. What the?! My snatch is dripping!"

While you probably can't pinpoint when it's going to happen, you know the approximate days. Which means you have no reason to not just carry some cotton corks in your purse knowing you'll need them soon.

There's NO reason to keep a box of them at a man's place.

It's hard to even think of a equivalent situation on the male side to try to relate to.

I suppose it'd be like a boyfriend coming over and saying "You don't mind if I keep some jerk mags here in your apartment do you? I never know when I might need to rub one out." That's probably not the most accurate analogy, but it's fucking hard to come up with something that's even on the same level as tampons.

If you date a woman for long enough for her to think your things are hers as well (which usually happens in the first 5-10 minutes), quickly piss on everything you own to try to limit her laying claim to them. If you don't, and you just slide it on, then she'll just assume it's ok to move the ol' tampoonagains in with your things.

Look out if your woman insists on keeping her stuff at your place,


Here's some standard arguments she may try to throw at you, and the ways in which you can counter them:

Her Argument
But honey, we need to learn to share. If we want this to work, we can't be selfish now can we?

Proper Response
You're right. We should share ownership of our things. That means your vagine is partially mine, and I want my part filled with silicon sealant.

Her Argument
Honey, it's a hygiene thing. You can never be too careful.

Proper Response
You're exactly right. Stay at your place for the next week. May I recommend a tarp for your furniture?