A working DVD player.
I consider myself a technologically savvy gentlemen, but Jeff's Sony DVD recorder/player plays DVDs as well as a microwave does.

For those that don't know technology as well as I do, I'll help you out on that one....microwaves make the eating food warm, but do not play DVDs at all.

In a recent bout of attempting to watch Dodgeball, the DVD player certainly beat both Jeff and I. Similar to the plot from the movie Memento, the DVD player doesn't remember from one minute to the next what the fuck it's purpose on this earth is.

Step 1: Put DVD in player
Step 2: Wait 3 minutes
Step 3: Have DVD player say the DVD isn't a DVD
Step 4: DVD player auto-ejects the disc
Step 5: Rinse
Step 6: Repeat for 45 minutes
Step 7: Microwave seems like a better entertainment system at this point

In an effort to get the DVD player to work, both Jeff and I pursued many adventurous ideas.

1) Jeff turned off the DVD player for around 30 seconds a number of times, putting the DVD player into what he calls "time out". This "time out" worked all well as any do...the DVD player just resented us more.

2) I blew hot air from a hair dryer into the machine, thinking that maybe like a bear, it sleeps when it's cold like it is outside. This also didn't work, but it's renewed my faith in using the heat to dry beer out of my pants...so it wasn't a total loss.

The best course of action was, like in many situations, just giving up. We instead acted out the movie using hand puppets, and a good time was had by all.

The next time I want to watch a DVD I think I'll try putting sliced meat into the DVD player. Could its lack of working be due to it being hungry? Stay tuned and find out!

Prediction:

"Daily Thing That Pisses Me Off: Sometime in the future"

"Not knowing how to remove gunked up meat from the DVD player is becoming a smelly and terrifying adventure...I think badgers have moved into the unit for for the free meat. Upon inspection....yes....yes they have....now I have badgers in my hair"