Misconception 1 - The moon orbits the earth

While the moon DOES cause the tidal forces on Earth that pulls on the oceans creating tides, the moon DOESN'T orbit the Earth.

What does the moon orbit then?

Answer: Beth from "Dog the Bounty Hunter" 's tits

Beth's tits hold the moon in it's orbit, as well, they sometimes pull satellites out of orbit to their death. Remember when the space station MIR fell? Well, neither do I...but I do know that the cause was Beth flying on an airliner, thus bringing her dirty gravity pillows closer to the space station. This threw off the delicate Earth/tit orbit equation Russian scientists used to plan MIR's orbit.

Please note that I never capitalized the word moon in the above fact, as moon is what the moon is, not it's name. Give the goddamn thing a name and I'll pay it respect in my future notes.

Misconception 2 - Men can't hit women

Wrong.

So very wrong.

Estrogen doesn't break down physics.

Test: Find a woman. Cock your fist back, and then thrust it forward until it dead-ends into her babymaker.

Conclusion: She screams in pain....and if you did it right, she'll pee blood. Turns out it's quite easy to hit women.

Equal rights isn't a pick and choose issue.

Misconception 3 - There is no cure for the common cold

Umm, bullshit.

The cold virus only survives in you because you're alive.

No cure for the cold my ass! Show them what's up!

Misconception 4 - Al Gore invented the internet

Come on, are you serious? Stephen Hawking invented in the internet in the mid 70's for the same reason we all use it today....as a way to retrieve dirty wheelchair sex videos and brag to everyone else how much better then them we are.


Misconception 5 - Columbus discovered America

Since we still teach this obvious fallacy in our schools knowingly, I should be able to substitute my own theory and have it be JUST as valid.

Who discovered America?
America was discovered by Joe Pesci in 1794 while he was searching for the fountain of youth so that he could continue making movies up until the present day while simultaneously warding off the decomposition of his over 200 year old midget body.


Misconception 6 - All music is good music

Couldn't be more wrong on this one. Lots of music sucks ass...lots of ass.

Here's how you can tell good music from bad music, ask yourself this question: Does Mitch listen to it?

If I don't, odds are you've found pure crap. As only the music I listen to rocks, and that's the way it'll always be.

Anyone that tells you otherwise is most likely a hatemonger, and should be executed.


Misconception 7 - Will Yoder is a man

While his outward appearance may indicate he's a (retarded) male, Will was the first documented human to be born with a man-snatch.

You may be fooled into thinking it's a penis, but really it's a outward tube used for playing with other dongs.

Don't listen to his propaganda, he wants NOTHING to do with women and their genitalia....NOTHING.

I know this because of the support group that was formed by women who were permanently scared by Will, and by trying to have sex with him and his man-snatch.