You may know it as Windows Vista.
It's hard to say something bad about Vista that hasn't already been said via numerous reviews by people that actually care about how well a computer functions.
The best way to sum up Windows Vista is by comparing it to a fat sorority girl. You can have the sun-kissed tan skin, and the fashionable highlights in your hair, with the trendiest of clothes and your big bitch glasses that make you look like some sort of insect that thrives solely on semen. However, despite those lovely bells and whistles you still manage to weigh 312lbs, so no one REALLY wants to use you.
Let me come out and say that because I'm not a trendy dumbshit, I didn't infect my computer with Vista. I use XP x64, which fucks Vista in the ass without a reach around. The woman that I have familiar relations with's new laptop came with Vista preinstalled on it, and I base all this on the 10 minutes I used it on her computer.
You're probably saying "well 10 minutes isn't enough time to properly review any software". Wrong. May I now refer you to exhibits A and B:
How long do you have to look at this gentleman before you know he's retarded?
Or this gentleman?
Using the same ability to recognize truth, I quick determined Vista to be mostly retarded. Let me share with you some of the things I noticed in my brief stay with Vista.
First thing that was noticeably enraging to me was the desktop icons; they each consume approximately 17% of the desktop real-estate. Even at the resolution of at least 1280x1024, they were fucking huge.
Where oh where have I seen something like this before...
Oh yeah! Phones for goddamn blind people.
Why even have a wallpaper on the desktop?
It's buried behind so many icons and widgets, that they might as well ship the OS with the goatse.cx guy as the wallpaper, at least then if I ever uncovered the picture, I'd know where the designer's heads were.
Deaf, dumb and blind, but I can still check my e-mail...when the computer lets me!
Microsoft is trying to make Vista more user friendly to those who, even without eyes, would like to get the experience of digital diarrhea. Will it work? Will I get my data saved before it takes a rapid, surprising binary dump? I'm just a little confused as to why the digital trash bin on the desktop is larger then my actual, physical trash can in my room.
The other thing that Vista likes to do on a laptop, is not run programs when running off of battery power, but run them if the converter is plugged in. I was attempting to use the Veoh player from veoh.com to watch a downloaded movie file. Windows Media Player kept getting the audio and video desynchronized, which clearly isn't vital for video playback, and is staggeringly hard to do.
I kept attempting to open Veoh while having the laptop running off battery but Vista just spinning it's gears.....literally gears. There are gears that run this shitty system that sometimes get clogged up with hair and dust, preventing it from working.
Later, I plugged it back in to the wall and 7 copies of Veoh opened up on the desktop.
Great.
I closed six of them, leaving one open to play a combination of motion pictures and sounds that I was attempting to view.
Then unplugged the laptop to go watch it again.
Whamo!
Like a hot shot of nut in the eye of an unsuspecting hooker, Vista surprisingly closes Veoh again.
Attempted this test again to confirm, and the results came back the same.
What
can you do to alleviate this problem?
Soon even your workplace will use Vista, so it's best to
just bend over and prepare for it.
Oh, jolly good!